Something I Can Never Have

i cried myself to sleep last night... i dont even remember crying... all i know is that when i got up, my eyes were bloodshot and puffy... and then i recalled everything that happened... i cried for u after a very long time... not because of u, for u... i cried for times we spent together... for everything there was... for everything i miss... for having to act like im ok without u... for not being able to meet u... for a whole lot of things that i fail to understand myself... and i know that ill still dream of u... of how happy just a msg from u makes me... about how ur the only guy i have ever loved and still do even though i keep trying to reason with myself that its not worth it... about how i argue with myself when it comes to u... about how my heart wants u and how my mind wont let me be with u... deep down i know that u being u will never realize just how much i love u and me being me will never try to explain it to u... some things never change!!!
came across this song and it reminded me of u...

SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE
-Nine Inch Nails


I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head till I don't want to sleep anymore

You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be

Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have