sometimes i sit and wonder where my life is headed... i feel like my life has no direction... there r things i want to do but that doesnt fit with what im doing right now... a few days ago i was sitting and having a conversation with myself and i suddenly realized that maybe im not passionate about what im doing... im just doing engineering coz thats what i wanted to do... and im not particularly passionate about that... im in my third year and suddenly somehow i feel im in the wrong field... maybe i should have gone in for film direction... thats one thing i think i would passionate about... i have a passion for film making but i dont really know how to react to that... can i possibly waste 3 years of college and then shift to a completely different field??.. or maybe i can pursue something after i finish engg... maybe i keep getting these doubts coz im not focussed... for everyone who's seen Farhan Akhtar's Lakshya, i feel like "Mere jeevan mein koi lakshya nahi hai"... i feel too directionless for words... where am i headed??... where is my life headed??... i would love to work with an NGO... theatre is what sets my pulse racing but even the people who r closest to me dont know this... bcoz i dont know if i should just go ahead and enroll myself in a theatre class bcoz thats what i want to do... atleast for now... i know i can handle it... maybe i will go ahead and join a theatre group or even a part time film direction course... lets see... i hope this isnt one of the thousand schemes/plans my mind cooks up everyday!!!... it doesnt feel like one though!!...
P.S.- anyone who knows anything about either of the 2 in Delhi please let me know... ill mention ur name in the credits of my first film!!!... thts a promise!!!..
P.P.S.- i feel so much better than when i started this post!!!
- Irreversibly Screwed
- Delhi, India
- My blog is the true me... and thats the reason no one i know is aware of its existence!!!... so much easier to be your true self if you aren't under scrutiny!!!
9 comments:
din abt ur insights fr life ths much til i read ur blog.. ppl cn fake really well..huh....always showin n actin t b one f stron willed ppl. idiot.. jus nevr feel alone iam thr .. ALWAYS!!!
love
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I agree. problem with taking up something is u lk it wen u start it bt somewhere dwn the line, u simply loose the passion n it just becomes monotonous.
Very well written:)
i personally think that one should always follow their heart and that is only when one can find true satisfaction.
But, it also depends on the resources available and the pros and cons of it. I think since you are half way through with engineering, go ahead and complete it, may be afterwards you can think abt theater, coz if that doesn't work out, you will at least have a back up plan.
hey, Iv been thru exactly this same dilemna... in fact most of my posts these days have a hidden meaning headed that way...
actually, I was studying to be a Chartered Accountant, but i wanted to pursue my dream of being a journalist/Newsreader/quizmaster.. Now, these arent easy professions.. and getting a break is like the biggest miracle you can pray for.. on the other hand, accounts and auditing made me sick.. moreso, I loathed the attitude of CAs as a whole.. like, intelligent above the rest, too important for anyone, and always too busy attitude.
so there i was stranded, hating the current job, but without enough light to even grope around for my dream..
well, say wha, one fine day, had some issues with my CA boss, had to leave there. searched for a non accounting finance job (which would let me write my final exam and thereby be a CA in name) and ended up in this stock broking firm.. and i never go tird of saying this, but i absolutely love it... and even better, i know that after 2 yrs (my CA period), i will be much better to take on the passion of journalism or any sort of hunting after news plus writing...
so my advice is, dont jumb into a new career path, but dont extinquish the dreams either.. look out for the signs.. you will know when to make the switch. (i know i sound philosophical, but trust me, you will know when the time comes, however unable you think yourself to be now. anything you do before the right time will only end up in regret)
there's the other side of choosing a unusual profession.. you'll have to go through hardship's.. but Im sure, if you have the passion, you will consider them as small hurdles. (thats why i think u should wait for the right time - when you know God is leading you somewhere, you will not lose the fight in you, and that is an assurance that cannot be made up my mere resolution)
two, you will have to be prepared to take criticism.. like, lot of ppl who studied with me, and now working in the tech cos call me as a sada broker... maybe i am, i dont care. wat matters is i enjoy wat i do, and that is enough.
hey, i know i write big comments... but well, iv got this mental disorder by which i cant stop writing untill my knuckles ache... hehe :)
ok i didn read that comment before posting it... hope you can figure out wat its supposed to mean...;)
@ anonymous
i know ur there sweetie... thts wht best frnds r for.. love u too!!.. >:D<
@ supernova
monotony sucks!!.. thanx..
@ raaji
thts wht i think too..
@ ab
its good to know im not alone in feeling like tht.. and i it made a lot of sense to me.. thanx..
Hey...nice title to the post i must say...Sure there are times in life when all the focus seems to have been lost somewhere...but gather the courage and follow ur heart!!! Optiing out of engg in ur third year would be a drastic step and i m sure people around u may not approve of dat.But u can always do wht u want after u get over with ur degree or amybe part-time.
Well,as of now i dont have much idea bt u can definitly visit National School Of Drama(NSD), CP,New Delhi.I am sure u'll get a line of action there.
isnt that what blogging is all about? Feeling better than when you started off? :)
thanks for dropping by :)
lol..tis the same everywhere with every damn engineer..wonder y everyone starts realizin by the 3rd year...
but newas u not late u knw...tis high time that u opt for something u really passionate bout...no point doing something which doesnt give you satisfaction..
bout changing the field, i think you can very well do that but am just not sure so I wouldnt be commenting on that..
I cant see any engineer so low and depressed that too when they at the hilt of their career deciding phase..
cheer up and work towards achieving your goal..
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