NO!!.. im not going to sit here and apologize for my absence, give excuses or even promise to be regular henceforth.. simply because i dont have any new excuses to give and, just between u and me, i dont believe it myself!!.. :D
have a screwed up sleep cycle as usual.. a friend suggested moving halfway across the globe but im sure i would screw up accroding to their local timings too.. what can i say.. its a gift!!.. :D
so i have a new solution, ladies and gentleman, *drumroll*
say hello to my 4 best friends.. JIM, JACK, JOHNNY and JOSE!!!... :D
cheers!!..
Apr 16, 2010
Jan 12, 2009
New Endings, New Beginnings
first things first... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!...
next come the usual apologies and promises to be regular... and finally the update..
had a crazy 4 months.. my sister had a baby who's such an absolute sweetheart.. i was in the city of joy for 3 days and i hardly slept at all... some wedding that i wouldn't have minded giving a miss to but some things u just have to do.. spent an amazing week with friends in goa for new year's eve.. all we did was sit and drink beer and party.. was absolutely heavenly.. got called by infosys to do my final semester project and training at their mysore campus due to begin in a week.. attended classes during the december holidays because apparently college doesn't feel that we can miss classes just because infy had a whim.. im off to mysore this weekend to start work from 19th.. its going to be a busy 4 months.. saturdays are going to be working which quite obviously sucks!!.. shopped a lot under the pretence of not having enough business formals.. tried weed in goa.. didn't quite give me the high that i expected.. but i just wanted to try it once in my life so thats done.. gave CAT without studying at all even though nobody really believes it.. got a 96 percentile god knows how.. i remember drinking a lot the night before CAT and not wanting to get up on the day to actually go and give it.. managed to drag my ass out of bed and sit through the entire exam.. shocked a lot of people and even myself when the result came.. was too lazy to actually fill up any of the forms so just happened to fill IMT.. still have no idea what i want to do in life.. some things never change!!!...
not really looking forward to the work stint at infy.. dont want to slog my ass off 6 days a week from 8.30-5.45.. going to miss my best friend's 21st birthday because im going to be in mysore.. why didn't they recruit biotech personnel as well!!.. going to be spending my 21st birthday without any of my real friends (unless they surprise me!!).. will miss out on the very last semester of college.. and all this for a lousy 1000 bucks a month as stipend and food coupons worth 3000... misers!!!... but somewhere down the line with the usual bullshit about "once in a lifetime opportunity", "getting out of my comfort zone", "experiencing the corporate world", "getting away from all things wrong in life" i gave in.. hopefully it wont be as bad as im making it out to be..
Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be!!!..
Amen.
next come the usual apologies and promises to be regular... and finally the update..
had a crazy 4 months.. my sister had a baby who's such an absolute sweetheart.. i was in the city of joy for 3 days and i hardly slept at all... some wedding that i wouldn't have minded giving a miss to but some things u just have to do.. spent an amazing week with friends in goa for new year's eve.. all we did was sit and drink beer and party.. was absolutely heavenly.. got called by infosys to do my final semester project and training at their mysore campus due to begin in a week.. attended classes during the december holidays because apparently college doesn't feel that we can miss classes just because infy had a whim.. im off to mysore this weekend to start work from 19th.. its going to be a busy 4 months.. saturdays are going to be working which quite obviously sucks!!.. shopped a lot under the pretence of not having enough business formals.. tried weed in goa.. didn't quite give me the high that i expected.. but i just wanted to try it once in my life so thats done.. gave CAT without studying at all even though nobody really believes it.. got a 96 percentile god knows how.. i remember drinking a lot the night before CAT and not wanting to get up on the day to actually go and give it.. managed to drag my ass out of bed and sit through the entire exam.. shocked a lot of people and even myself when the result came.. was too lazy to actually fill up any of the forms so just happened to fill IMT.. still have no idea what i want to do in life.. some things never change!!!...
not really looking forward to the work stint at infy.. dont want to slog my ass off 6 days a week from 8.30-5.45.. going to miss my best friend's 21st birthday because im going to be in mysore.. why didn't they recruit biotech personnel as well!!.. going to be spending my 21st birthday without any of my real friends (unless they surprise me!!).. will miss out on the very last semester of college.. and all this for a lousy 1000 bucks a month as stipend and food coupons worth 3000... misers!!!... but somewhere down the line with the usual bullshit about "once in a lifetime opportunity", "getting out of my comfort zone", "experiencing the corporate world", "getting away from all things wrong in life" i gave in.. hopefully it wont be as bad as im making it out to be..
Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be!!!..
Amen.
Sep 9, 2008
Coloured
i sat down and coloured today.. remember those books that we used to buy as kids which had pictures and u could colour in them and which were only ever thought of again when u had little cousins who needed help with that stuff.. that kind.. it reminded me of when i was a kid.. felt like another life.. did something like this after ages.. just sat down all alone with a colouring book and a set of colour pencils.. reminded me of how it feels to be alive.. feel lightyears a way from that time.. when my b8iggest nightmare was probably not getting to sit next to my "best friend" in the bus.. now i cant even remember her name.. another time, another life.. i always felt that even if things change, there are a few basics that never would.. now i see that belief shaken.. last year seems like it never was.. i cant even go back 3 months and imagine how life was.. its all so blurry..
i dont know what triggered it but i remembered that i liked colouring as a kid.. and i liked it today too.. reminded me that maybe there was that little girl still alive somewhere inside who wouldn't give up on life, had dreams in her eyes, thought the world was her oyster, felt like a princess, believed that everyone has a good side, and that things work out in the end.. reminded me of a time when things were fine and she was happy..
of a time she doesnt relate to anymore...
i dont know what triggered it but i remembered that i liked colouring as a kid.. and i liked it today too.. reminded me that maybe there was that little girl still alive somewhere inside who wouldn't give up on life, had dreams in her eyes, thought the world was her oyster, felt like a princess, believed that everyone has a good side, and that things work out in the end.. reminded me of a time when things were fine and she was happy..
of a time she doesnt relate to anymore...
Jul 5, 2008
off again!!!
every time i promise myself that im going to be regular with blogging one or more of the following happens..
a) i get writers block.
b) i feel the need to get away from things.
c) i go out of town.
d) im too lazy to type out my thoughts and when i do get in front of the computer im not in the mindset to blog.
e) i stop coming online even to check my email.
in the past 2 months, ive surprisingly encountered all these at once.. spent 3 weeks in the city of joy (Kolkata for the uninitiated) where i hardly even opened my inbox to check my mail.. felt the need to just vanish from the entire 'scene' for a while.. was too lazy to move my ass after i came back for another week or two.. had a farewell party to plan for a friend so got really tied up with that and didnt come online.. and now that i thought things were finally settling down, i just realized that im off again..
my grandparents are taking us all for a cruise to.. wait for it.. ALASKA!!!... just the 3 of us 'kids' and the 2 of them.. everything is all set and i leave tomorrow for another 15 days to the US and 2 days to hong kong.. so the last week was busy with the visa (which incidentally is quite a pain in the ass since they waste your entire day and u have a whole lot of queues to stand in), the bookings, the tickets and the customary shopping for the relatives staying there.. [:)]
i finally get to see snow again!!!... yipppee!!!... and the shopping of course!!!... and i have a ten year multiple entry visa so now i dont need to go stand in those godforsaken queues for another 10 years!!.. HURRAY!!..
anyway.. the champions league final was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!.. what an action packed match.. and the Euro was as usual full of surprises!!!.. i never thought spain had it in them.. but i missed the final so im not sure.. [:(]
other than that nothing of consequence really happened except that i passed everything and that too without a single D grade.. im now officially in my final year of engineering.. planning to give CAT and GMAT this year.. lets see what i actually get around to doing.. [:p]
am currently reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams and its hilarious!!.. something that i would definitely recommend.. halfway through it and saving it up for the loooong flight.. though im pretty sure that i will sleep through most of the 20 hours.. they say its a gift!!.. laziness is in my blood!!..
my mom has been pestering me to pack for 2 days now and she keeps saying that if i leave things for the last minute, ill forget things.. and she's also kinda irritated with my usual reply of 'if i forget to take something, ill buy it from there'.. hehehe.. im going on a holiday.. i dont want all that extra planning and extreme care.. i like to be laid back and just put my feet up and do nothing.. i for one am not of those that require a holiday after they come back from a holiday just to settle in.. and i dont really even mind the long flights because i never get jet-lagged since i can sleep for 20 hours straight.. laziness has its advantages too!!!..
and right after i get back im plunged into the college session.. not really something im looking forward to.. but that has more to do with the fact about having to wake up early than anything else..
and im off again for a fortnight after which i absolutely totally and completely promise to be regular with blogging.. and this is not like the other 100 times ive used this line.. i mean it this time..
i do.. i do.. i do...!!
a) i get writers block.
b) i feel the need to get away from things.
c) i go out of town.
d) im too lazy to type out my thoughts and when i do get in front of the computer im not in the mindset to blog.
e) i stop coming online even to check my email.
in the past 2 months, ive surprisingly encountered all these at once.. spent 3 weeks in the city of joy (Kolkata for the uninitiated) where i hardly even opened my inbox to check my mail.. felt the need to just vanish from the entire 'scene' for a while.. was too lazy to move my ass after i came back for another week or two.. had a farewell party to plan for a friend so got really tied up with that and didnt come online.. and now that i thought things were finally settling down, i just realized that im off again..
my grandparents are taking us all for a cruise to.. wait for it.. ALASKA!!!... just the 3 of us 'kids' and the 2 of them.. everything is all set and i leave tomorrow for another 15 days to the US and 2 days to hong kong.. so the last week was busy with the visa (which incidentally is quite a pain in the ass since they waste your entire day and u have a whole lot of queues to stand in), the bookings, the tickets and the customary shopping for the relatives staying there.. [:)]
i finally get to see snow again!!!... yipppee!!!... and the shopping of course!!!... and i have a ten year multiple entry visa so now i dont need to go stand in those godforsaken queues for another 10 years!!.. HURRAY!!..
anyway.. the champions league final was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!.. what an action packed match.. and the Euro was as usual full of surprises!!!.. i never thought spain had it in them.. but i missed the final so im not sure.. [:(]
other than that nothing of consequence really happened except that i passed everything and that too without a single D grade.. im now officially in my final year of engineering.. planning to give CAT and GMAT this year.. lets see what i actually get around to doing.. [:p]
am currently reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams and its hilarious!!.. something that i would definitely recommend.. halfway through it and saving it up for the loooong flight.. though im pretty sure that i will sleep through most of the 20 hours.. they say its a gift!!.. laziness is in my blood!!..
my mom has been pestering me to pack for 2 days now and she keeps saying that if i leave things for the last minute, ill forget things.. and she's also kinda irritated with my usual reply of 'if i forget to take something, ill buy it from there'.. hehehe.. im going on a holiday.. i dont want all that extra planning and extreme care.. i like to be laid back and just put my feet up and do nothing.. i for one am not of those that require a holiday after they come back from a holiday just to settle in.. and i dont really even mind the long flights because i never get jet-lagged since i can sleep for 20 hours straight.. laziness has its advantages too!!!..
and right after i get back im plunged into the college session.. not really something im looking forward to.. but that has more to do with the fact about having to wake up early than anything else..
and im off again for a fortnight after which i absolutely totally and completely promise to be regular with blogging.. and this is not like the other 100 times ive used this line.. i mean it this time..
i do.. i do.. i do...!!
May 13, 2008
Exam tom. and this is what im doing!!
[Note to self: mind your own business!!]
Characters-
my best friend: A
guy: X
me
the gang
the back story,
so there's this guy i know who lies left, right and center(i love the phrase :-P).. X can hardly even keep track of everything he's said.. but not all my friends can see through it.. mostly just me and A, who also happens to be the object of X's unwanted affections.. X calls me his "best buddy".. another thing about X is that he happens to spend a lot.. no one knows where that money comes from (he claims to own his own business!!), but he spends left, right and center(lol).. be it lunches or drinks or even presents.. he basically goes the whole nine yards for everyone's attention.. impresses almost everyone.. A warns me to be wary of this guy..
[Note to self- there are no free lunches.]
i agree and keep my distance.. X suddenly becomes everybody's best friend..
[Note to self- everyone's best friend is no one's.]
A becomes quite uncomfortable with all of X's attention and the lies he tells the gang about how she gives him 'signals'.. she hardly talks to X despite his million attempts..
fast forward to last week,
i chance upon X' email password without even intending to..
[Note to self- what an idiot would keep their name as their password!!]
i dont really care what he's doing with his life but i dont trust him.. so i search my name in his chats (i'd like to thank google for gmail!!) just to know what he thinks about his "best buddy".. i find out that he's been telling the gang that i apparently have been telling lies about him to A and thats the reason she doesn't talk to him.. convinces the gang of what a total gossip i am who just bitches about people behind their backs left, right and center(last time.. its kinda wearing off now).. no one in the gang has the balls to come up to me and ask if its true..
[Note to self- technology can be quite a bitch!!]
i've never been accused of being diplomatic or not speaking my mind.. some of the gang start hating me.. a few are more practical in thinking its not about them and are the same with me.. i tell A everything as usual and she laughs at the thought of me filling her up against someone.. makes me realize that there is no point in confronting the gang because they are still sweet to me on my face.. tells me to just forget all this but be careful of who i trust in the future..
[Note to self- most people suck!!]
The worst part is that in a way X sort of bought his way in and even people who bitched about him are suddenly his best friends.. im just glad (thanks to a lot of convincing by A that im not a bad person) that i found out in due time and now im probably wiser.. that last thought kinda makes me laugh too!!..
[Note to self- money makes the world go round!!]
I hate the hypocrisy and the fact that people use money to get their way with things.. no more complaining about corruption in the government.. there's so much more corruption in everyday life.. My life seems to be on the way to becoming an 'Ekta Kapoor' drama.. which is nothing to be proud of!!
Moral of the story - MIND YOU OWN DAMN BUSINESS!!!
P.S- i just felt like using a lot of colours.. :-P
Characters-
my best friend: A
guy: X
me
the gang
the back story,
so there's this guy i know who lies left, right and center(i love the phrase :-P).. X can hardly even keep track of everything he's said.. but not all my friends can see through it.. mostly just me and A, who also happens to be the object of X's unwanted affections.. X calls me his "best buddy".. another thing about X is that he happens to spend a lot.. no one knows where that money comes from (he claims to own his own business!!), but he spends left, right and center(lol).. be it lunches or drinks or even presents.. he basically goes the whole nine yards for everyone's attention.. impresses almost everyone.. A warns me to be wary of this guy..
[Note to self- there are no free lunches.]
i agree and keep my distance.. X suddenly becomes everybody's best friend..
[Note to self- everyone's best friend is no one's.]
A becomes quite uncomfortable with all of X's attention and the lies he tells the gang about how she gives him 'signals'.. she hardly talks to X despite his million attempts..
fast forward to last week,
i chance upon X' email password without even intending to..
[Note to self- what an idiot would keep their name as their password!!]
i dont really care what he's doing with his life but i dont trust him.. so i search my name in his chats (i'd like to thank google for gmail!!) just to know what he thinks about his "best buddy".. i find out that he's been telling the gang that i apparently have been telling lies about him to A and thats the reason she doesn't talk to him.. convinces the gang of what a total gossip i am who just bitches about people behind their backs left, right and center(last time.. its kinda wearing off now).. no one in the gang has the balls to come up to me and ask if its true..
[Note to self- technology can be quite a bitch!!]
i've never been accused of being diplomatic or not speaking my mind.. some of the gang start hating me.. a few are more practical in thinking its not about them and are the same with me.. i tell A everything as usual and she laughs at the thought of me filling her up against someone.. makes me realize that there is no point in confronting the gang because they are still sweet to me on my face.. tells me to just forget all this but be careful of who i trust in the future..
[Note to self- most people suck!!]
The worst part is that in a way X sort of bought his way in and even people who bitched about him are suddenly his best friends.. im just glad (thanks to a lot of convincing by A that im not a bad person) that i found out in due time and now im probably wiser.. that last thought kinda makes me laugh too!!..
[Note to self- money makes the world go round!!]
I hate the hypocrisy and the fact that people use money to get their way with things.. no more complaining about corruption in the government.. there's so much more corruption in everyday life.. My life seems to be on the way to becoming an 'Ekta Kapoor' drama.. which is nothing to be proud of!!
Moral of the story - MIND YOU OWN DAMN BUSINESS!!!
P.S- i just felt like using a lot of colours.. :-P
May 1, 2008
Back.. Yet Again!!!...
So after yet another long hiatus, (i realized how long after i opened my blog today and saw the date of the last post.. im ashamed..) I'm back again...
No new excuses for this long break from bloggersville.. just the usual need to break away from norms and "discover myself" which im no closer to by the way.. penned down a few of my thoughts on paper instead and was as usual too lazy to type them out.. As for a summary,
Birthday came and went.. turned 20.. whole new decade of life.. feel kinda old.. lol.. still getting used to it.. Got placed with Infosys during on-campus placements.. didnt sit for any company after that simply because i thought it would waste a holiday.. Still unsure about what i want to do with life.. keep going back to this post.. things at home have been a little difficult.. planning for MBA is at a new level.. got the books and plan to use them this time though i haven't gotten to that point.. YET.. As for the personal front, i now happen to be in a long distance relationship for another 3 months.. major attendance panga this semester.. second lowest in the year.. some stupid teachers have something against proxies.. why do these people forget that they too were students.. dont even know how to talk let alone teach and force you to come to classes for attendance.. the worst is if you come in even 5 minutes late, you have to sit in the first row.. which is where i penned this down.. seen new degrees of hypocrisy these past 3 months.. and the worst is that almost no one around sees it.. its so frustrating but i should just mind my own business.. Euphoria came for the college fest.. sang "Ab Na Jaa".. heard it after ages and it struck a chord.. Saw loads of movies in the past 3 months.. the only one of mention here is Longest Yard (yes i had not seen it before... sue me!!).. Kickass movie.. highly recommended!!.. also recommended are August Rush and Miracle on 34th Street..
and the lecture's up.. attendance marked.. and no more slacking with blogging regularly... Promise!!!..
No new excuses for this long break from bloggersville.. just the usual need to break away from norms and "discover myself" which im no closer to by the way.. penned down a few of my thoughts on paper instead and was as usual too lazy to type them out.. As for a summary,
Birthday came and went.. turned 20.. whole new decade of life.. feel kinda old.. lol.. still getting used to it.. Got placed with Infosys during on-campus placements.. didnt sit for any company after that simply because i thought it would waste a holiday.. Still unsure about what i want to do with life.. keep going back to this post.. things at home have been a little difficult.. planning for MBA is at a new level.. got the books and plan to use them this time though i haven't gotten to that point.. YET.. As for the personal front, i now happen to be in a long distance relationship for another 3 months.. major attendance panga this semester.. second lowest in the year.. some stupid teachers have something against proxies.. why do these people forget that they too were students.. dont even know how to talk let alone teach and force you to come to classes for attendance.. the worst is if you come in even 5 minutes late, you have to sit in the first row.. which is where i penned this down.. seen new degrees of hypocrisy these past 3 months.. and the worst is that almost no one around sees it.. its so frustrating but i should just mind my own business.. Euphoria came for the college fest.. sang "Ab Na Jaa".. heard it after ages and it struck a chord.. Saw loads of movies in the past 3 months.. the only one of mention here is Longest Yard (yes i had not seen it before... sue me!!).. Kickass movie.. highly recommended!!.. also recommended are August Rush and Miracle on 34th Street..
and the lecture's up.. attendance marked.. and no more slacking with blogging regularly... Promise!!!..
Jan 29, 2008
Here we go again!!!
first the (valid) excuse for disappearing from blogsville for so long.. my room's being renovated and i hardly get time to use the laptop to surf the net.. its almost done so ill have my PC up in no time.. also im heading for placements next month so things r a little hectic..
now coming back to the post.. after taking more than a year off getting over that #@&%$@#, im dating someone..
i wrote this about a month back when i wasnt sure whether i liked this guy or not.. seems like i do.. ;-)
and it starts again..
the constant looking for deliery reports in the cell phone.. the glances in the mirror to check how red u r when u think of them.. the waiting for them to come online for a 5 minute chat on gtalk that usually lasts well over an hour or two.. the furtive looks at the cell phone when ur out with friends to check for missed calls or msgs.. the checking ur email inbox every 2 hours for a new mail from them.. the reading old chats (god bless gtalk!!) that bring a smile to ur face.. the realization how much u miss them even though u explained to urself that u probably shouldn't..
spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!..
P.S.- as for GOA, it was rocking!!.. sandy beaches, chilled beer, water sports, partying with friends.. bliss!!..
now coming back to the post.. after taking more than a year off getting over that #@&%$@#, im dating someone..
i wrote this about a month back when i wasnt sure whether i liked this guy or not.. seems like i do.. ;-)
and it starts again..
the constant looking for deliery reports in the cell phone.. the glances in the mirror to check how red u r when u think of them.. the waiting for them to come online for a 5 minute chat on gtalk that usually lasts well over an hour or two.. the furtive looks at the cell phone when ur out with friends to check for missed calls or msgs.. the checking ur email inbox every 2 hours for a new mail from them.. the reading old chats (god bless gtalk!!) that bring a smile to ur face.. the realization how much u miss them even though u explained to urself that u probably shouldn't..
spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!..
P.S.- as for GOA, it was rocking!!.. sandy beaches, chilled beer, water sports, partying with friends.. bliss!!..
Jan 7, 2008
Memories...
i was listening to the radio the other day and as one song changed to another as i flicked channels, a thought occurred and sort of stuck for enough time for me to blog about it..
there are some songs that remind you of old times.. good ones.. bad ones.. there are those songs that bring an instant smile to your face.. then there are just plain bad songs.. and then there are songs you loved but cant bear to listen to anymore because they remind you of things you would sooner forget.. and finally there are those songs that bring a smile to your face but you end up hitting the stop button before they finish because you aren't sure if you want to remember those times or not.. strange naa..
thats what seems to be happening to me these days.. i guess its all aout the state of mind..
there are some songs that remind you of old times.. good ones.. bad ones.. there are those songs that bring an instant smile to your face.. then there are just plain bad songs.. and then there are songs you loved but cant bear to listen to anymore because they remind you of things you would sooner forget.. and finally there are those songs that bring a smile to your face but you end up hitting the stop button before they finish because you aren't sure if you want to remember those times or not.. strange naa..
thats what seems to be happening to me these days.. i guess its all aout the state of mind..
Dec 10, 2007
When stuck in class....
im back... after a long hiatus where i sorted out a lot of stuff that was messing up my already screwed-up mind!!!... now i have a whole new bunch of thoughts to mess me up!!.. monotony sucks!!.. ;-)
well the last month has been quite a blur.. made some new friends, gave exams, finished project submissions, partied like hell, explored new places in and around town.. the works... now im officially free for a whole month.. no college.. no getting up early.. no teachers.. no attendance!!.. phew!!.. as of tomorrow im going for a short vacation.. away from this cold and off to the sandy beaches of GOA for a week with friends... yeah baby!!!.. and after college opens in the new year, im heading for on-campus placements!!.. so basically there's lots happening around..
i realized that for a change i will not procrastinate and plan ahead for the next semester!!... in case i attend any classes, here's the deal..
THINGS TO DO WHEN STUCK IN CLASS
1. Doodle..
2. play dumb charades.. believe me this can be hilarious specially since u cant get up or jump around and everyone around is staring at ur "gestures"..
3. sit in the first row and tap ur watch furiously every 5 minutes to check if its working.. most teachers get pretty pissed off.. and that is the only reason i go to class.. that and attendance!!.. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!..
4. repeat everything the teacher says in a sing-song voice..
5. play all ur ringtones one by one.. for the more daring and experienced, u can try "item numbers".. believe me imagining a male teacher shaking it on "dilwalon ke dil ka karaar" is amazing stuff... cheap thrills i know but it IS great fun..
6. write blog entries like this one..
ill be back in a week!!.. with a tan!!.. :-)
take care..
well the last month has been quite a blur.. made some new friends, gave exams, finished project submissions, partied like hell, explored new places in and around town.. the works... now im officially free for a whole month.. no college.. no getting up early.. no teachers.. no attendance!!.. phew!!.. as of tomorrow im going for a short vacation.. away from this cold and off to the sandy beaches of GOA for a week with friends... yeah baby!!!.. and after college opens in the new year, im heading for on-campus placements!!.. so basically there's lots happening around..
i realized that for a change i will not procrastinate and plan ahead for the next semester!!... in case i attend any classes, here's the deal..
THINGS TO DO WHEN STUCK IN CLASS
1. Doodle..
2. play dumb charades.. believe me this can be hilarious specially since u cant get up or jump around and everyone around is staring at ur "gestures"..
3. sit in the first row and tap ur watch furiously every 5 minutes to check if its working.. most teachers get pretty pissed off.. and that is the only reason i go to class.. that and attendance!!.. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!..
4. repeat everything the teacher says in a sing-song voice..
5. play all ur ringtones one by one.. for the more daring and experienced, u can try "item numbers".. believe me imagining a male teacher shaking it on "dilwalon ke dil ka karaar" is amazing stuff... cheap thrills i know but it IS great fun..
6. write blog entries like this one..
ill be back in a week!!.. with a tan!!.. :-)
take care..
Nov 9, 2007
Enough with the whining... already!!!
sometimes i wonder when did my mind become so corrupt??... when did i lose the innocence of laughing on a nice clean joke... now all my jokes have hidden meanings... the first reaction when someone says something is to imagine all possible dirty interpretations... i was never the kind who got all the dirty jokes but now i laugh even before most guys can think of the 'other' meaning... is it wrong for a girl to understand things too much... its pretty obvious and usually hits bulls eye!!!.. just because i get all sexual jokes doesnt make me loose!!.. it just means i dont pretend if i understand things and my IQ isnt as low!!!.. maybe i dont live in an open enough society where a girl can be as tough as a guy without being termed fast.. maybe guys see it as a threat.. maybe they dont have the balls to accept a girl with guts and a cheeky tongue.. most people dont bother really knowing u.. even 'friends'.. everyone judges u for who they think u r... stupid hypocrites!!!..
i just realized that most of my posts thesedays have something to do with people judging me all the time and my being frustrated with those very people... in my defence its my blog and that is exactly what im going through!!!... i just feel a little abandoned.. its one of those days when nothing goes wrong but nothing really goes right either.. i feel frustrated with nothing happening... its driving me up the wall.. its forcing me to think and usually not very pleasant thoughts.. it makes me feel lonely and i hate the mere thought of it.. the desire to be accepted... im too much of an outcast already though most of the times i dont bother about it... but i guess i dont always like to take the road less travelled... fear of rejection??.. maybe.. but mostly i hate feeling distant from the ones i care about... finally im getting this out of my system... no more whining about this!!!... here's to better days!!.. :)
i just realized that most of my posts thesedays have something to do with people judging me all the time and my being frustrated with those very people... in my defence its my blog and that is exactly what im going through!!!... i just feel a little abandoned.. its one of those days when nothing goes wrong but nothing really goes right either.. i feel frustrated with nothing happening... its driving me up the wall.. its forcing me to think and usually not very pleasant thoughts.. it makes me feel lonely and i hate the mere thought of it.. the desire to be accepted... im too much of an outcast already though most of the times i dont bother about it... but i guess i dont always like to take the road less travelled... fear of rejection??.. maybe.. but mostly i hate feeling distant from the ones i care about... finally im getting this out of my system... no more whining about this!!!... here's to better days!!.. :)
Oct 15, 2007
The Iron Princess Speaketh
i sometimes refer to myself as the "iron princess"... the steely exterior, the impression i tend to leave on others, and the nothing-can-touch-me attitude... but what most people forget is that im human too... i take 'dont judge a book by its cover' seriously... because im a very different person from i who i show myself to be... i just wish people would stop judging me.. people aren't always who they show themselves to be... most people with the strongest of exteriors have the softest of hearts and are the most sensitive ones... the balls-to-the-world attitude is there just so that no one can hurt me.. or so i think... i somehow almost always tend to trust the wrong people... and every time i get my trust broken, i promise myself that i wont let it happen again... but like they say, some people never change!!.. im way too easy to fool... because im too stubborn... because i dont like the world we live in... the deceptions, the lies, the hypocrisy, the works... because i genuinely care about people.. because i dont understand people who trample over others.. because i despise how we judge everyone and everything that comes our way... because i want to make a difference... because i live in my own dream world... because i need a reality check!!!
Oct 11, 2007
finally...
I'm FINALLY over u... FINALLY!!!... at least i hope that this time i am... :-)
i need a lot of support for this... the more i think about letting u go, the more i end up thinking about u... but hopefully this is it!!..
i need a lot of support for this... the more i think about letting u go, the more i end up thinking about u... but hopefully this is it!!..
Oct 2, 2007
Tears in Heaven
i have an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach... the one u get when something is about to go seriously wrong... the puzzling part is that nothing is due to happen in the near future which could go terribly wrong... barring exams which start from tomorrow... but the worse that can get is getting a zero and believe me thats not going to be new!!.. but for the past few days i feel a sudden silence engulf me every morning... the kind that occurs before storms!!!... (convert that to hindi and it makes more sense!!).. for the past 4 days ive woken up with tears in my eyes... actually its been longer than that but the past 4 days are when i started realizing that something was horribly amiss..
sleep is my vice.. i sleep when im content.. i sleep when im worried.. i sleep when im looking forward to something.. i sleep when im trying to run away from something... basically i sleep - A LOT!!!.. but somehow these days every time i go to sleep i KNOW im running away from things... i know it doesn't help in any way.. i know when i wake up im going to be feeling extremely groggy and far from fresh.. i know ill still have that sinking feeling when i wake up.. i know my demons just wont run away while im sleeping.. and i continue to sleep... i wake up late and then go back to sleep in the afternoon and when i wake up in the evening i wile away time on the internet... and then i sleep at night... but ive never had sleep this disturbed in the 19 years of my meaningless existence... thats the way i feel now...
ill talk to a friend about it but with exams coming up the poor soul is already so disturbed that i dont have the heart to give her more to ponder over... moreover im not sure what ill say... conversation has ceased to flow as it once did... ive started doubting myself more than ever before.. i cant even say im frustrated... because im not... im just plain sad... with a hint of hopelessness!!.. maybe its all just a phase.. maybe it will pass.. until then...
sleep is my vice.. i sleep when im content.. i sleep when im worried.. i sleep when im looking forward to something.. i sleep when im trying to run away from something... basically i sleep - A LOT!!!.. but somehow these days every time i go to sleep i KNOW im running away from things... i know it doesn't help in any way.. i know when i wake up im going to be feeling extremely groggy and far from fresh.. i know ill still have that sinking feeling when i wake up.. i know my demons just wont run away while im sleeping.. and i continue to sleep... i wake up late and then go back to sleep in the afternoon and when i wake up in the evening i wile away time on the internet... and then i sleep at night... but ive never had sleep this disturbed in the 19 years of my meaningless existence... thats the way i feel now...
ill talk to a friend about it but with exams coming up the poor soul is already so disturbed that i dont have the heart to give her more to ponder over... moreover im not sure what ill say... conversation has ceased to flow as it once did... ive started doubting myself more than ever before.. i cant even say im frustrated... because im not... im just plain sad... with a hint of hopelessness!!.. maybe its all just a phase.. maybe it will pass.. until then...
Sep 25, 2007
U were saying???
I learnt how to phase out in 2nd semester... the reason being that I didnt attend anything in my 1st semester at college... nothing, nil, nada, zilch... i guess u get the point... so basically even though i rarely attend anything in college, i tend to phase out whatever is happening around... i believe i have finally mastered the art... i look suitably interested but in my mind i tend to venture into another world... earlier it was restricted to lectures... maybe college has taken over so much of my time that i find myself tuning out while having conversations... and i see these movies where characters tune in and out at will and i feel myself increasingly becoming like that... im not apathetic, its just that i despise monotony... repetition bores the hell out of me... and sometimes i find conversations so boring that i enter into my own world... the depths of my subconscious... the formula is always the same... look like ur interested, keep saying things like umm, uh-huh, yup, seriously!! et cetera and u should be just fine..
and it woprks the other way too.. sometimes i phase out when im the one doing the talking... one minute i say something and the next minute i completely blank out on where the conversation was headed... and i also tend to jump back and forth unexpectedly and for short durations!!... its weird... but it comes in handy in classes... too bad i dont even attend 10% of my classes to put my skills to use!!.. :D
maybe it also has something to do with a space constraint... too many thoughts.. too little space to store most of them!!!.. my head is so full of useless knowledge that i possibly cant store any new thoughts... if only i had Dumbledore's Pensieve!!!...
and it woprks the other way too.. sometimes i phase out when im the one doing the talking... one minute i say something and the next minute i completely blank out on where the conversation was headed... and i also tend to jump back and forth unexpectedly and for short durations!!... its weird... but it comes in handy in classes... too bad i dont even attend 10% of my classes to put my skills to use!!.. :D
maybe it also has something to do with a space constraint... too many thoughts.. too little space to store most of them!!!.. my head is so full of useless knowledge that i possibly cant store any new thoughts... if only i had Dumbledore's Pensieve!!!...
Sep 24, 2007
What Are We Running After??
heard these lines after a long time and it just left me wondering... this one hit the nail on the head... its been stuck in my head ever since... the beauty of these lines!!!... its from the 1957 hit "Pyaasa"...
"Ye Mahalon, ye Takhton, ye Taajon ki Duniya,
Ye Insaan ke Dushman, Samaajon ki Duniya,
Ye Daulat ke Bhookhe, Riwaazon ki Duniya,
Ye Duniya agar mil bhi jaaye, toh kya hai?"
Listen to this here...
here's the translation:-
This world of palaces, thrones and crowns,
This world of societies that hates humanity,
This world that hungers for nothing but wealth,
Even if one obtains this world, so what?
"Ye Mahalon, ye Takhton, ye Taajon ki Duniya,
Ye Insaan ke Dushman, Samaajon ki Duniya,
Ye Daulat ke Bhookhe, Riwaazon ki Duniya,
Ye Duniya agar mil bhi jaaye, toh kya hai?"
Listen to this here...
here's the translation:-
This world of palaces, thrones and crowns,
This world of societies that hates humanity,
This world that hungers for nothing but wealth,
Even if one obtains this world, so what?
Sep 21, 2007
aaarrghhh!!!!
i realized that my writers block just surfaces when im in front of a monitor... so i started making notes on my phone about things i wanted to blog about or was feeling at a particular moment... but considering my attention span i now have about 8-10 unfinished blog entries on my phone... and just the day i finished a post i cant find my phone... i put it somewhere here but it will take a long time to search through this mess.. yes i put it on silent so calling wont help... now i have to wait another day to make a post...
and i haven't been regular because i got my hands on the season 3 of 24 (yes i know it came out ages ago but whatever!!!) and i just had to finish it once i started it... am finally done but now i have season 4 staring me in the face... life is so tough... im going to have to make a tough decision come monday... its going to sound very mundane but it is confusing... "Prison Break" season 3 airs on mondays as will the third season of "how i met your mother" along with the second season of "heroes"!!!... what the hell am i going to download first??... how can people expect me to make a decision like that... probably will split the responsibility with a couple of friends so we all can download different sitcoms and then get it in pen drives the next day... but still...
also have around 80 movies on my computer that i haven't watched yet... so much of backlog and so little time... ohh and i guess i have 3 projects due in college but thats the least of my worries right now!!!...
and i haven't been regular because i got my hands on the season 3 of 24 (yes i know it came out ages ago but whatever!!!) and i just had to finish it once i started it... am finally done but now i have season 4 staring me in the face... life is so tough... im going to have to make a tough decision come monday... its going to sound very mundane but it is confusing... "Prison Break" season 3 airs on mondays as will the third season of "how i met your mother" along with the second season of "heroes"!!!... what the hell am i going to download first??... how can people expect me to make a decision like that... probably will split the responsibility with a couple of friends so we all can download different sitcoms and then get it in pen drives the next day... but still...
also have around 80 movies on my computer that i haven't watched yet... so much of backlog and so little time... ohh and i guess i have 3 projects due in college but thats the least of my worries right now!!!...
Sep 11, 2007
Tagged!!!
got tagged into doing this by Raaji... here goes...
Stolen a Car: Nope... and may i suggest that anyone who has, should probably not own up to it because u never know who's reading ur blog!!!..
Been In Love: Ahh... I have to literally stop myself from falling in love... Its weird that I tend to fall in and out of love... but maybe im still not sure if it was love or something else..
Been in a Fist Fight: YES!!!.. everyday for 14 years till my brother moved to college!!..
Had Feelings for Someone Who Didn’t Have Them Back? Hasn't everybody??.. im still to meet someone who can answer a no to this question..
Been to Canada? Nope.. been to the States.. the Niagara Falls.. but never inside the border..
Purposefully Set a Part of Yourself on Fire? No.. though once i tried burning a nail after cutting it.. just out of curiosity.. :P
Taken Pain Killers? Yes, occasionally.. but i have a pretty strong immune system *touchwood* so that takes care of any medicines to take..
Been Lonely? I guess I have... and i dont like it... i dont mind aloneness... but loneliness sucks!!!
Felt an Earthquake? yes.. and it was kinda cool... :-P
Been Misunderstood? has a fish ever been in water??.. do people find the sound of scratching nails on a blackboard irritating??.. the answer is YES!!.. in CAPITALS.
Been in a Car Accident? been in a bike accident if that counts... a gypsy crashed into a friends bike and sent both him and me flying on the road.. dont remember much but from what i hear it was quite a day!!.. both of us were lucky considering that it could have been quite deadly..
Walked the Streets Drunk? The Beer Crawl, Munich.. June '07.. the most awesome time that i dont recollect!!.. apparently i was yelling at the top of my lungs... again, no recollection!!..
Swum in the Ocean? its the best thing... EVER!!!.. i love the freedom it provides... no boundaries.. just water..
apparently most of u have been tagged with this so i tag anyone who hasnt done this yet...
Stolen a Car: Nope... and may i suggest that anyone who has, should probably not own up to it because u never know who's reading ur blog!!!..
Been In Love: Ahh... I have to literally stop myself from falling in love... Its weird that I tend to fall in and out of love... but maybe im still not sure if it was love or something else..
Been in a Fist Fight: YES!!!.. everyday for 14 years till my brother moved to college!!..
Had Feelings for Someone Who Didn’t Have Them Back? Hasn't everybody??.. im still to meet someone who can answer a no to this question..
Been to Canada? Nope.. been to the States.. the Niagara Falls.. but never inside the border..
Purposefully Set a Part of Yourself on Fire? No.. though once i tried burning a nail after cutting it.. just out of curiosity.. :P
Taken Pain Killers? Yes, occasionally.. but i have a pretty strong immune system *touchwood* so that takes care of any medicines to take..
Been Lonely? I guess I have... and i dont like it... i dont mind aloneness... but loneliness sucks!!!
Felt an Earthquake? yes.. and it was kinda cool... :-P
Been Misunderstood? has a fish ever been in water??.. do people find the sound of scratching nails on a blackboard irritating??.. the answer is YES!!.. in CAPITALS.
Been in a Car Accident? been in a bike accident if that counts... a gypsy crashed into a friends bike and sent both him and me flying on the road.. dont remember much but from what i hear it was quite a day!!.. both of us were lucky considering that it could have been quite deadly..
Walked the Streets Drunk? The Beer Crawl, Munich.. June '07.. the most awesome time that i dont recollect!!.. apparently i was yelling at the top of my lungs... again, no recollection!!..
Swum in the Ocean? its the best thing... EVER!!!.. i love the freedom it provides... no boundaries.. just water..
apparently most of u have been tagged with this so i tag anyone who hasnt done this yet...
Sep 6, 2007
Unconditional Love
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Sitting alone in the dark,
As time drags along,
Im thinking about you,
And everything that went wrong.
Its just not your fault,
That I am in love with you,
And just because I feel that way,
Is no reason you should too.
'Coz love is all about giving,
Without expecting in return,
Its just an unconditional feeling,
There are no specific terms.
No one knows the depth of my feelings,
Its just so strong that even Im not sure,
Cant explain it even if I try,
Its just so complicated yet so pure.
But something you'll never know about me,
Is just how deeply for you I care,
The agony of loving someone so much,
That it hurts far more than I can bear.
Sitting alone in the dark,
As time drags along,
Im thinking about you,
And everything that went wrong.
Its just not your fault,
That I am in love with you,
And just because I feel that way,
Is no reason you should too.
'Coz love is all about giving,
Without expecting in return,
Its just an unconditional feeling,
There are no specific terms.
No one knows the depth of my feelings,
Its just so strong that even Im not sure,
Cant explain it even if I try,
Its just so complicated yet so pure.
But something you'll never know about me,
Is just how deeply for you I care,
The agony of loving someone so much,
That it hurts far more than I can bear.
P.S.- Even though i do have internals going on in college, the absence of posts is solely due to procrastination... like i was even going to TRY to study!!.. the only constructive thing i did was to check every single cd/dvd that i own(around 200) to know what data i had and what exactly was taking up so much of space... that's how i found poems i had written ages ago...
Aug 25, 2007
Till Death Do Us Part.
She loved him so much that it hurt. He knew she had to get over him so he never answered her calls. She would call and wait for him to call back or send a message but deep down she knew that he wouldn't. The 1500 kms between them helped. It broke her every second. She knew he liked her. Possibly had even loved her when he was here, but now things were different. Very different. But even then he wasn't the types to commit. Why did she expect that love would change him when she wasn't even sure if he loved her anymore? Why did she think that he would come back to her and tell her he loved her and everything would be fine? But she knew herself better than that. She knew that even though she loved him with all her heart, and probably always would, she wouldn't take him back. She would have to steel herself and numb every feeling inside her because they both wanted different things. He would never settle down and she expected him to be just hers. She knew it was best for her to forget him and move on but it wasn't easy. All her friends confirmed what an egocentric bastard he was but she still loved him. She had known all that about him even when she had fallen in love with him. But she had grown up reading too many fairytales for her own good. So that day she finally made that resolve to never call him up and get on with life. He just wasn't worth it. She had FINALLY had enough. And then she felt free. Suddenly she felt like a big load had been lifted off her chest. She felt so light. She felt like a phoenix after emerging from the flames. She called up her best friend to tell her that she was finally over him and had gotten closure. She thanked her for being there and supporting her even when she had behaved like a bitch. She hung up feeling refreshed. She typed out a message to him about how they could never be together and she finally understood. And she made sure that just as her left index finger hit the send button, the gunshot rang.
And then there was silence.
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