18 TILL I DIE!!!

the clock is ticking... the minutes are passing... the realization is setting in... im no longer going to be 18!!!!... 19 seemed so old a year back... and now its almost here... im getting OLD!!!... so much i have yet to do... so much left to achieve... so many amends to make... and time flying by so quickly... i wish i had taken more photographs last year... but i know ill remember the moments that i want to... and some that i dont... lol... 18 had such a novelty about it... theres nothing special about 19... its just another number... but i know my family and friends r going to make it as memorable as any other year!!!... so many dreams to fulfill... so much love to give... so much more fun to have!!!... im gonna be 18 TILL I DIE!!!!

Birthday Blues!!!

My birthday is almost here and people keep asking me what i want as a present... and there's nothing i can come up with... and not just because they ask out of formality(yes!!... people do that... always!!!... even when they don't know when your birthday exactly is!!) but because i don't really want anything materialistic!!!... simple things would mean much more to me... The only thing I would like is a surprise birthday party but that isn't something I can say I want... can I???.... :-P... so here's a list of things i would actually like this year-

• Artificial Flowers - Every year I get real flowers that die in a few days... I'd like something that was different from what everyone else always gets... something i wouldn't have to throw away in a couple of days...

• A Handmade Card - doesn't have to be artistic... just a simple 'Happy Birthday' scribbled on a piece of paper would work better than an Archie's or Hallmark card... its just about the effort...

• CD - I do have all the music I listen to but would be nice if someone took out the time to write a CD for me that includes songs I like/ songs they like/ songs they think I might like/ songs that remind me of them or the other way round... etc.. etc..

• A Surprise visit from someone i don't expect to meet on the day - A surprise is a surprise is a surprise is a....!!!

• A Homemade Cake - Every year they get me a cake(sometimes even 2-3 when people cant figure out what to get) from a fancy 5-star bakery... I would love a homemade cake...

• A Warm Hug - from people I care about and who care about me... not just from anyone!!!

• A Song - just the thought of someone singing for me is awesome...

• A List of things people like about me - Come on... there's gotta be something or you wouldn't have bothered giving me a gift!!!... ;-)

• A Photo Collage - a reminder of the good times we've shared...
  

And I dub thee "Queen of Wishful Thinking".... I have way too many expectations!!... What I really need to get is a LIFE!!!...

Love Sucks!!!

Couldn't have said it better!!!

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Here's another one...

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.”

Sabse Peeche Hum Khade

This song is from the movie "Let's Enjoy" (which had the more popular track 'Dhol Wajda') and very few people seem to have heard it... its a nice song with good lyrics... something a lot of us can relate to... listen to it if u haven't already...


Zara nazar uthake dekho
Baithe hain hum yahin
Bekhabar mujhse kyon ho
Itne bure bhi hum nahin

Zamaane ki baaton mein uljho na
Hai yeh aasaan janana
Khud se jo agar tum poochho
Hain hum tumhare ke nahi

Teri aankhon ka jaadu
Poori duniya pe hai
Duniya ki iss bheed mein
Sabse peeche hum khade

Mehfilein aayi aur gayi
Log aaye aur gaye
Tum jo aaj aaye ho
Dil mein ho bas gaye

Muskurake baat taalo na
Phir miloge jo kahin
Dekhana yahi kahoge
Itne bure the hum nahi

Teri aankhon ka jaadu
Poori duniya pe hai
Duniya ki is bheed mein
Sabse peeche hum khade

Im Single and "Unavailable"!!... YEAH BABY!!!

ahh... its VALENTINE'S DAY again...

funny how it invokes different reactions from different people!!!... there r ppl who brood about being single on the day... others who spend every waking minute with their valentine.. and there are others for whom its just another day... i (proudly) belong to the last category... so much so that the first time i had someone to call my "valentine" i was sleeping soundly at the stroke of midnight while the poor guy kept trying to call me so that he was the first one to wish me... and come to think of it... he wasnt... i woke up somewhere around 2 and a friend of mine called and we ended up wishing each other before anyone else... and just after i kept his phone i saw 6 messages and 24 missed calls flashing on the screen.. all from one number... he made such a big deal out of valentines day and it was kinda sweet to see him put so much of effort into it but i really didnt need the fuss... so its valentines day!!... big deal!!.. really isnt that important to stay awake past midnight just to be the first one to wish someone... i just dont get the point about making such a big deal out of one day... its more special when its unexpected...as for valentine's day u know ur guy is going to plan something... just like everyone else's... but hey... thats just me... whatever works for u!!... and as for being single on valentine's day... i dont see it as a reason to brood... get together with other single friends... do fun stuff... or just spend time with the one you love the most - YOURSELF!!

do we really need a special day to make the one we love feel special??... is that really what "LOVE" is all about??... *sigh*

Celebrating the Weather

The weather today was just out of the world... no sun and amazing wind throughout the day... and then it rained in the evening!!... i just love when it rains... everything is so fresh and green... makes you want to dance!!.. so after a very very long time today (i am so lazy that its not even funny) i went for a walk in the park with my sister.. just the 2 of us... female bonding!!... lol... she has exams coming up so she needed the break and im always game for going out... yes even if its just to the park... so the 2 of us just walked around and talked about a lot of stuff... music, movies, relatives, guys, friends, future... the usual stuff... shes a little younger so i give her advice sometimes and she likes hearing about my college and friends... just the cold breeze blowing against our faces and being so close to nature was what made it all the more magical... so it was the perfect sunday. i realized that i have tests from tomorrow but even that failed to dampen my spirits today... it doesnt feel like new delhi in february at all... the only thing missing was a long drive down an empty road (now thats wishful thinking... the traffic here is killing!!)...

someone once asked me which one i like better... summer or winter??... i said rain!!... it always matches up to my mood... its just about how i perceive it... if im happy i imagine the little droplets of water dancing with me in joy and when im down in the dumps i feel like it knows my pain and is crying with me... Sad rain(read: when im sad and it rains) always reminds me of 2 things...

1. a quote by Charlie Chaplin that goes like this...

"I love walking in the rain 'cause no one knows im crying"

2. a line from the song November Rain by Guns N Roses...

"Cause nothing lasts forever,
Even cold november rain."

i know its conflicting that while the first reminds me that im upset and hurt, the second has an optimistic take on things... but thats just how it is... I LOVE RAIN!!!... Period.

The Truth about Love

with Valentine's Day just round the corner i heard this quote....

Love isn't about being "IN LOVE"..... its about fancy status messages and supposedly assiduous romantic days... weeks... months.... damn you HALLMARK!!!!

Amen to that!!!...

nope... im not a cynic when it comes to love but more on that later!!!... i must hit the books now... my college's idea of the perfect Valentine's day is to have tests the day before, on and the day after Valentine's day... i just try to explain to myself that they probably think that books should be my only love while im still in college!!!... not that it helps though!!!