Coloured

i sat down and coloured today.. remember those books that we used to buy as kids which had pictures and u could colour in them and which were only ever thought of again when u had little cousins who needed help with that stuff.. that kind.. it reminded me of when i was a kid.. felt like another life.. did something like this after ages.. just sat down all alone with a colouring book and a set of colour pencils.. reminded me of how it feels to be alive.. feel lightyears a way from that time.. when my b8iggest nightmare was probably not getting to sit next to my "best friend" in the bus.. now i cant even remember her name.. another time, another life.. i always felt that even if things change, there are a few basics that never would.. now i see that belief shaken.. last year seems like it never was.. i cant even go back 3 months and imagine how life was.. its all so blurry..
i dont know what triggered it but i remembered that i liked colouring as a kid.. and i liked it today too.. reminded me that maybe there was that little girl still alive somewhere inside who wouldn't give up on life, had dreams in her eyes, thought the world was her oyster, felt like a princess, believed that everyone has a good side, and that things work out in the end.. reminded me of a time when things were fine and she was happy..
of a time she doesnt relate to anymore...