sometimes i wonder if i would have been better off not knowing u... no more days spent wanting to be with u when i know i cant... no more nights spent tossing and turning wondering if ur with someone else... no more crying for what isn't there anymore... no more furtive glances at the cell phone wondering if u'll call or msg today... no more crossing my fingers as i sign into messenger for just an offline... no more listening to 'I dont want to miss a thing' and not being sure whether to smile or cry... no more feeling that i cant take it anymore... but then there wont be that smile when i hear a song on the radio and it reminds me of u... no twinkle in my eye when out of the blue i remember something u said... no sudden flutter in the heart when i see ur msg or call... no odd sense of peace when i close my eyes and see ur face... nothing... just plain long drawn numbness... without u i wouldn't be the same me... u've taught me so much... about myself, about life, about the world... and if the only way i could be with u is in my heart then so be it... i would rather know u and live with just ur memories than not know u and not know what it is like to be in love... as u once said
TO LOVE IS ALL, TO BE LOVED IN RETURN IS DIVINE!!..
damn u!!!... uve really messed me up!!!.. and i love u for that too!!.. :)
Apr 29, 2007
Apr 27, 2007
It Rained That Night
wrote this one some time back... this one's closest to my heart... its like deciding which one of ur kids is ur favorite... and this would pretty much be the front runner for me... lol..
_____________________________________________________
IT RAINED THAT NIGHT
Heavens looked down,
The gods too cried,
I looked up with hopeless eyes,
As it rained that night.
It was the night of love,
It was the night of hate,
But above all that love and hate,
It was the night of tearful fate.
Winds gushing around me,
Trying to engulf my pain,
Tears pouring down my face,
Mixing with the falling rain.
Waves tickling my bare feet,
Splashing to protect me from the world,
Taking me with them as they go,
Trying to befriend a lost little girl.
A boat out in the distance,
Sailing farther away from me,
The starless sky, the moonless night,
Have to feel my way, cant see.
I walk the damp sands,
Towards the centre of the ocean,
See the last night of life,
Am never going to see the rising sun.
Heavens looked down,
The gods too cried,
I looked into the darkness ahead,
Oh!!! It rained that night.
_____________________________________________________
IT RAINED THAT NIGHT
Heavens looked down,
The gods too cried,
I looked up with hopeless eyes,
As it rained that night.
It was the night of love,
It was the night of hate,
But above all that love and hate,
It was the night of tearful fate.
Winds gushing around me,
Trying to engulf my pain,
Tears pouring down my face,
Mixing with the falling rain.
Waves tickling my bare feet,
Splashing to protect me from the world,
Taking me with them as they go,
Trying to befriend a lost little girl.
A boat out in the distance,
Sailing farther away from me,
The starless sky, the moonless night,
Have to feel my way, cant see.
I walk the damp sands,
Towards the centre of the ocean,
See the last night of life,
Am never going to see the rising sun.
Heavens looked down,
The gods too cried,
I looked into the darkness ahead,
Oh!!! It rained that night.
Apr 26, 2007
Dont Push Me Too Far
i wonder why people think that just because we dont say anything, we cant!!...
i usually put my point of view forth if i have a different take on things... im not very opinionated and im open to other people's point of view... but i dont like it when people wont listen to someone else's opinion and try to force their view on everyone around... just because ur elder and i didnt say anything out of respect doesnt mean that i cant say anything... so the next time u scream at me for having a different perspective than yours, dont expect me to listen quietly and walk away... u better think twice next time because im not going to be as polite as i was today!!!...
family can irk u so much at times!!!... thank god we can choose our friends!!!...
P.S.- Mom u'll be so proud of me that i didnt answer back even when i was right... i knew it would hurt u if i had talked back... but i dont know if i can take an outburst like that again... it wont be my fault... u better tell these people not to push me too far... maybe they dont realize what a little bitch i can be when i want to!!!...
i usually put my point of view forth if i have a different take on things... im not very opinionated and im open to other people's point of view... but i dont like it when people wont listen to someone else's opinion and try to force their view on everyone around... just because ur elder and i didnt say anything out of respect doesnt mean that i cant say anything... so the next time u scream at me for having a different perspective than yours, dont expect me to listen quietly and walk away... u better think twice next time because im not going to be as polite as i was today!!!...
family can irk u so much at times!!!... thank god we can choose our friends!!!...
P.S.- Mom u'll be so proud of me that i didnt answer back even when i was right... i knew it would hurt u if i had talked back... but i dont know if i can take an outburst like that again... it wont be my fault... u better tell these people not to push me too far... maybe they dont realize what a little bitch i can be when i want to!!!...
Mood Swings..
i need to do something about my mood swings... they seem to have increased manifold... i dont like being a GROUCH!!!... its making me lose my sleep... i was always nocturnal but never an insomniac... maybe tomorrow's lectures in college can cure that!!!... but i need to do something about these mood swings soooooon......
Apr 24, 2007
so as i was browsing through blogs today(yes.. FYI i have nothing better to do!!!), i noticed that almost every Indian student's blog i came across was an engineering student!!!... Engineering student trying hard to clear all subjects and studying at the very last minute for exams.. vivas.. lab tests.. submissions... the works!!!... why are we engineers-to-be so drawn to blogging??.. because we have loads to bitch about??... and believe you me in engg. colleges throughout India.. shit happens!!!... the faculty sucks.. dont understand ur problems.. are hell bent on making ur life miserable... the majority of the crowd makes u want to puke.. the guys r just trying to score... the girls are just trying to get noticed... everyones living a fucking lie... double standards... bitching... conspiracies... plans... total saas-bahu saga!!!... but thats besides the point... dont we engineers have anything better to do... we always have that odd assignment that we could have done or work in the lab on our own(ya rite!!) rather than copy someone else's work... we rant about not getting enough time for submissions and we usually waste our time doing the not-so-important things... why dont we just get a life and take engineering seriously rather than the one night stands we have with our books the night before our exams??...
i can answer for myself... because i dont give a fuck!!!... because i know that whatever im being taught in college is a complete waste and is something thats never going to help me... because i know that im going to get placed in a decent company before i pass out of college without having to slog through my college years... because i know i can handle the last minute studies and still manage to scrape through with average grades... because i know that even if i do study all semester long and get top grades its not going to make any difference other than maybe get me a certificate... because thats the way i am... because i dont think that i need to prove to anyone how good i can do in college... because i would rather enjoy my life so i can look back with no regrets!!!... because this post made absolutely no sense and im still typing...
i can answer for myself... because i dont give a fuck!!!... because i know that whatever im being taught in college is a complete waste and is something thats never going to help me... because i know that im going to get placed in a decent company before i pass out of college without having to slog through my college years... because i know i can handle the last minute studies and still manage to scrape through with average grades... because i know that even if i do study all semester long and get top grades its not going to make any difference other than maybe get me a certificate... because thats the way i am... because i dont think that i need to prove to anyone how good i can do in college... because i would rather enjoy my life so i can look back with no regrets!!!... because this post made absolutely no sense and im still typing...
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd,
You're gonna hear my voice,
When I shout it out loud..
It's my life,
It's now or never,
I ain't gonna live forever,
I just want to live while I'm alive,
It's my life!!!
You're gonna hear my voice,
When I shout it out loud..
It's my life,
It's now or never,
I ain't gonna live forever,
I just want to live while I'm alive,
It's my life!!!
Apr 23, 2007
Something I Can Never Have
i cried myself to sleep last night... i dont even remember crying... all i know is that when i got up, my eyes were bloodshot and puffy... and then i recalled everything that happened... i cried for u after a very long time... not because of u, for u... i cried for times we spent together... for everything there was... for everything i miss... for having to act like im ok without u... for not being able to meet u... for a whole lot of things that i fail to understand myself... and i know that ill still dream of u... of how happy just a msg from u makes me... about how ur the only guy i have ever loved and still do even though i keep trying to reason with myself that its not worth it... about how i argue with myself when it comes to u... about how my heart wants u and how my mind wont let me be with u... deep down i know that u being u will never realize just how much i love u and me being me will never try to explain it to u... some things never change!!!
came across this song and it reminded me of u...
came across this song and it reminded me of u...
SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE
-Nine Inch Nails
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head till I don't want to sleep anymore
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
-Nine Inch Nails
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head till I don't want to sleep anymore
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing and I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
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